In primary school, an annual occasion that I always dreaded was sports day. Sat in our different houses on the school field, trying not to get burnt by the sun, pupils would compete against one another in a whole host of events. From basic sprinting to an egg and spoon race, the sack race and a slow bicycle race, it was a chance for the sporty to prove their exceptionalism in front of a flock of parents. For the less academic, it was, bluntly, a time where they were guaranteed to come first.
For the rest of us, that was not the case. I managed to compete only in the 80 metre compulsory running race, representing the ‘Yellow’ house (such was the imaginative nature of the house names). Every year, without fail, I would always come last. Even before starting, I knew there was no point assuming the sprinter position that best guarantees the fastest speed, for it would make no difference. However, I always finished each race. Though my feet would cross the finish line last, I found it worthwhile to have finish what I had begun. Flouncing off to the side and giving up would attract more attention than simply running to the end, even if my defeat was by quite a few seconds. By crossing the line, I was removing negative attention from myself. Besides, it was the praise of those who finished first, second and third which would be most received, something which would remove the focus of my failure from the public spotlight. What my running failure revealed was something that I believe is a positive personality trait. If I am invested in something, I want to complete it, to the best of my ability where possible. Whether it’s a personal project or academic qualifications, I don’t believe in doing something half-heartedly. What would be the point? If the time and energy is going to be present, and especially if I’m competing against others, I may as well use as much passion as possible. This can sometimes be deeply scary or daunting. If a project has been completed, let alone to a high standard, you are opening yourself up to full judgment. There is something comforting about the security of incompletion. By not finishing a project or venture, you are able to wistfully imagine what could have been and the quality that could have resulted. By concluding a project, one is inherently stating they have done their best. Which might not always be enough. Indeed, that is why I find all creators admirable, even if I dislike their work. For they have found the courage and drive to finish a project and see something through to its completion. I often have this philosophy when I am absorbing culture. When I see a film, I want to watch it from start to end with no gaps. When I read a book, I start and finish the read, however long it takes. Looking around a museum exhibition, I want to see the display in its entirety, to formulate a judgement. Indeed, I think a complete, accurate and entire judgment about the merits or otherwise of a piece of culture is impossible unless your exposure to it has been complete. Last weekend, for example, I watched a rather terrible film called ‘Friday’ from the 1990s. Apparently, it had been well received at the time by critics but I found it an immense slog. Yet I don’t feel saying this would have been legitimate without having exposed myself to the entire drama. I needed to see the narrative in its wholeness to make a judgement or where it succeeded or, in this case, failed miserably. Of course, I understand that individuals have limited time to appreciate culture, not least in a cost of living crisis. We want to discriminate prior to viewing something to ensure our cultural escapes are well spent. However, where a choice is made, it is worthwhile to spend as much time as possible fully appreciating something. That is the same whether creating or absorbing. To finish something in full is not a trait everyone can say they have. Made it one you do.
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