Thank god for climate change. Hallelujah for global warming! What a relief that the environment – the land in which we inhabit – is crumbling before us. Hurrah for wasted food, cheers for endangered animals and phew, there is single use plastic all over the place.
Why this deviation from my bleeding heart (mostly) environmentalism, I see you ponder? Because it's the only thing keeping this government alive. In every area of policy, there is an utter, absolute, definitive void of new ideas and ambitions to take Britain forward. However, the environment brief appears to have escaped this elusive, ever-dominant curse. People have very firm, fixed opinions on Michael Gove. He is total Marmite. You either think he was the best Education Secretary ever, introducing necessary reforms and taking on lefty teachers. Or you think (as I do) that he caused teachers intolerable levels of stress, imposed additional, unnecessary assessments on students and has left a stain on the education system. Personally, I can't see why he felt students shouldn't be allowed blank copies of studied texts in English Literature exams, given essays are meant to be judged on analysis, not memory. Furthermore, I find it baffling that the government removed maths and science formulae from the start of GCSE papers, given how widely available they are online. It was pointless, created a dull conformity of education and stopped necessary thinking. I hold no candle for Mr Gove. However, the reason for his uncontrollable morphing into Marmite is because of the education brief. People may find him perfectly likeable as a person, but it was at education where he became incredibly divisive. Nevertheless, as Environment Secretary, shipped in (or should I say cycled in?) at the dawn of Theresa May's weakness, he is the only cabinet member fulfilling their brief. Earlier this week, he announced a proposed ban on plastic straws. Absolutely marvellous! Who could disagree with removing the amount of single-use plastic on the planet, which so harms our oceans, land and animals. You don't need to be a Blue Planet fan (and I'm certainly not) to appreciate and support the desire for more animals to live in safer habitats not destroyed by humans. Soon into his brief, he announced a ban on microbeads. Superb! Again, is there any opposition to this? We are told time and time again what needs to be done to improve the environment, and why the condition of our world must be kept high, but witnessing some credible government action is extremely fulfilling. This doesn't make the Environment department a saint however, far from it. Though Gove has regularly voiced calls for a 'Green Brexit', the soundbite and vision like that of Boris Johnson (less said about that the better), there is little detail on what this will mean. Will the government replace the subsidy farmers were used to receiving from the EU? Will the government help farmers thrive and succeed, especially in a competitive age of food imports? Why does the government support fracking if it is so green? This is where the government's problems commence. Let's start with Brexit, as we're on the topic. Oh yes, another pound in the jar. Hopefully one day I can get through a blog without mentioning the B-word. Earlier this week, the Lords voted for an amendment supporting a customs union, at odds with government policy. Later in the week, the government faced successive defeats, requiring the examination of MPs once again. With Brexit, while I understand you are meant to keep your cards close to your chest, there is nothing on offer, either the desired EU-UK deal or realism about Britain after Brexit. Where is the excitement? Where is the relevant, detailed pragmatism that explains time outside the EU is possible, but will be extremely tough? There is none. This is either because the government don't believe in Brexit, their long-term flagship policy, or simply dither from day-to-day, weak negotiators basing their desired outcome not on principal, but what will get them a good press report, what will get them through the weekend. This long-term addiction to short-term spin is unsustainable and unacceptable. The great Malala Yousafzai once said 'One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.' She was completely right. Education is such a powerful tool to change the way we think and the structure of the world. I sometimes think we in the West, where education is a given, don't appreciate how rare and wonderful an opportunity this is, despite its occasional forebodings. Yet all I've heard, in terms of policy ideas and developments, from the new Education Secretary, one Damien Hinds, are plans to scrap the 50% cap on faith school, which currently means they can select no more than half of their pupils based on religion. Personally, I would happily shut down every faith school in Britain tomorrow, believing they only harm integration and sort children based not on ability, but the religion of their parents. Really, is that the only anchor idea in education today? What a disgrace. There is so much that needs to be done: removing the ban on new grammar schools, reintroducing Educational Maintenance Allowance, giving teachers more control over what they teach. Once again, I see no vision, no hope for a better education system in the near future. I have written many times about health, and so will keep this section brief. Jeremy Hunt, as a Health Secretary, must go immediately. NHS staff, rightly in my view, have no confidence in him. How can they trust him and be willing to deliver his ideas positively when he has failed them so much? Mr Hunt talks about creating the safest, highest quality health service, but in over half a decade in charge, the news still reports on the same crisis in the NHS. A different face reciting the same ideas is not enough, a new Health Secretary must transform the debate we are having around health. On foreign policy, the government continue Mr Blair's 'humanitarian intervention' doctrine, smearing those who question and oppose the rush into war as Neville Chamberlian appeasers of evil. They fail diplomacy, rush into wars which will only escalate conflict, continue to sell arms to dodgy regimes around the world and have Boris Johnson at the helm. Given his toxic personality and failures as London Mayor, what more do you need to know? There is a great lobby that wishes to get rid of international aid. Other countries around the world have nothing to do with us, they cry. I couldn't disagree with them more. By giving just 0.7% of GDP to developing countries, we can empower women, educate children, install health facilities, water pumps and give people more freedom over their lives. Despite all these wonderful things, the government are not making the exciting case for how taxpayers' money is being spent well. Surely, by knowing the good we do, people are more likely to support the ring-fenced budget. It seems not. Economically, the government still adopt a free market approach, failing to recognise that a free market does not necessarily lead to free people. Instead of presenting the modern case for a mixed economy, the ideal type of economy in my view, they've cut corporation tax, failed small businesses and introduced the illiberal Trade Union Act. Mrs May has said she wants more workers on company boards, but this has not, and is unlikely to, transform into reality. The government may continue to just win votes, to just persuade enough people that they are doing a competent job, keep the DUP and backbench MPs on side for fear of Jeremy Corbyn, but that doesn't mean the country will be fooled. Those running Britain, a country that needs all the help it can get before and after Brexit, are running out of steam. If it were not for worthy statements on the environment, this government would have been sent to landfill long ago.
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