The word milestone is used far too often within our public discourse. Everything can be a milestone if you want. Earlier this week, I got a new computer after seven years with my Windows 7. That could be counted as a milestone. In reality, it is simply a development, an evolution to better technology that was inevitably going to take place. It will impact, but not transform, my life.
Milestones are occasions that permanently shape our lives. And one of those most certainly took place this week. For I received my A-level results. After two years of note-taking, revision, flashcards, stress, essay plans and mind maps, the outcome was (at last) here. There is no point in denying it; I was extremely nervous. I had been (and remain) highly studious, choosing revision over other teenage pleasures. There was an innate feeling that I wanted these results to count. That way, my policy of deferred gratification would be worth it. Of course, the outcome had been out of my mind over the last two months. It became possible to make up for the pleasures I had missed out on following the conclusion of my exams. There was lots of time for reading, travelling, catching up on TV, seeing friends and returning to blogging. Yet I knew this enjoyment could only last if I had done well. My future university place (more on that later) was riding on success. As I have written before, our society is built around individualistic personal success, which has both merits and pitfalls. The pressure to do well was inbuilt. Whatever anyone thought, I would feel a failure if results day didn't go to plan. Since my blog last Sunday, I have had few thoughts other than results day. Although I attempted distraction techniques like watching 'The Thick of It' (essential viewing for you fellow political geeks), the thought of failure was absolute. I thought I would be letting myself and others down, would lose my university place and have wasted the last two years. I knew that nothing could be changed, however much I worried. Nonetheless, it appeared the thought of disappointment was eternal. People often state the build-up to something of concern is far more stress-inducing than the actual event. When it comes to A-level results day, they have once again been proven correct. I woke up at 5.50am simply relieved that the letters determining my future were finally going to be released. There would be no more time for stressing. I would see the letters, take a moment to react and then decide what to do next. That was liberating. I had been expecting to receive my results from '6am onwards.' Well six o'clock came and went with no email pinging through. The exquisite form of torture that is results day continued. I was desperate to receive the results by 8am, for that would be when UCAS Track opened, allowing me to see whether my firm choice of university had accepted me. We had prepared the previous day what to do if my results weren't up to scratch. Phone numbers of universities with politics places available were written down, though we aimed never to have to ring them. Their presence did calm me as I was aware that other options did exist. 7am arrived: a whole hour after exam results for my college had first been emailed. Opening them at home was such a relief, a thousand times less stressful than at college itself. As my surname falls almost exactly halfway in the alphabet, I assumed my results - good or bad - must be arriving sooner or later. And so they did. I had intended to open them by myself, as the initial discovery seems an intensely personal moment. However, events dictated that I opened that all important email in front of my mother. It read as follows: Sociology A*, Extended Project A*, English Language and Literature A, Politics A*' I couldn't believe what I was reading. I had dreamt of doing well, though I didn't want to unnecessarily get my hopes up. I was expecting the worst, ready to rush to UCAS and get Clearing on the line, begging for a university - any university - to take me. This was more than I could have ever imagined. All of my family were quite literally over the moon. We were on Cloud 9. All cliches, I know, but it was an immense feeling of euphoria, joy and ecstasy at knowing all the work you have done, all those Easter holiday sessions spent in the library or at a cafe quietly revising away, were worth every second. There is some difficulty in knowing how to balance the celebration. Clearly, I am proud of my results and academic ability. Many people won't have been as successful, whether through lack of effort or simply having a bad day during an exam. I aimed to balance my academic celebration with not becoming a narcissistic show-off. Arrogance is no virtue, it is only a vice. This was easy to manage; if people asked my results, I told them with joy. Knowing my results and and therefore where I am going next year is such a wonderful thing. It provides such clarity. Thankfully, my results were beyond the AAA requirement of the University of Warwick. This means I am off next month to read Politics at Warwick! I am desperately excited, both to have my mind opened, meet new people, read fantastic books, become enlightened on all matters political and to discover who I am and what I really think. Of course, I have some nerves, but that is to be expected. I'm sure university will be so freeing. It's certainly the start of something new. I suppose these A-level results however do mark the end of an event. Something has finished, a path of my life has drawn to a conclusion. Formal education is finished, replaced by the fun and worries of university. Today is a day for celebration as I look forward to a refreshed beginning. But I can't help looking back to my past, even from nursery or reception when my education began all those years ago. It may be me getting the credit for these results. Yet I am certain, in no denial whatsoever, that the grades in that email were so impressive only because of the people in and out of the education system who have tirelessly guided, supported, helped and assisted me along the way. To them, I can only offer my deepest and most sincere thanks and appreciation.
4 Comments
ck
15/8/2019 16:26:40
congratulations for your Tea Talks blog site (long may it continue) and of course for your excellent exam results. very well deserved :)
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Noah
20/8/2019 15:38:08
Thank you very much indeed.
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Big Brain Kernighan
17/8/2019 10:28:06
windows 7 is an operating system bro
Reply
Noah
20/8/2019 15:36:51
Thank you!
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